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- Marmot
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Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same thing.
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage.
We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week.
A little candlelight dinner, soft music and dancing.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
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Marriage is not a word but a sentence.
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It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen.
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My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there.
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We may be alone. We may not be alone. Either way, the thought is staggering.
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I used to be indecisive but now I'm not so sure.
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I've heard that there's an interesting lecture on schizophrenia at the Caird Hall tonight and I've half a mind to go to it.
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage.
We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week.
A little candlelight dinner, soft music and dancing.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
|
Marriage is not a word but a sentence.
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It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen.
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My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there.
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We may be alone. We may not be alone. Either way, the thought is staggering.
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I used to be indecisive but now I'm not so sure.
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I've heard that there's an interesting lecture on schizophrenia at the Caird Hall tonight and I've half a mind to go to it.
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one more and that's it!
While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."
She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: "Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?" Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am." "Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?" "Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"
Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?" "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. Helms immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators,and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer.
Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem. "Now look here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course, you idiot."
Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"
And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, it's Tony Blair."
She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: "Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?" Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am." "Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?" "Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"
Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?" "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. Helms immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators,and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer.
Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem. "Now look here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course, you idiot."
Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"
And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, it's Tony Blair."
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Кентавр
****...Обычно кентавры показываются дикими и несдержанными существами, в которых преобладает животная природа, но известны и мудрые кентавры...**** википедия
http://www.umorist.ru/collection/kran/kran002.html
****...Обычно кентавры показываются дикими и несдержанными существами, в которых преобладает животная природа, но известны и мудрые кентавры...**** википедия
http://www.umorist.ru/collection/kran/kran002.html
Последний раз редактировалось В.Мир 18 авг 2006, 22:58, всего редактировалось 2 раза.
- Mr. Trump
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A short clip from the Simpsons about the real country that is Russia.
http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/496 ... oplay=true
http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/496 ... oplay=true
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