Breaking News. - . 28/02/07
Mount St. Monica, the newly formed volcanic cone in the British Colony of Bermuda has apparently been erupting since this morning. The eyes of the world turn towards this tiny Mid Atlantic island as it's capital city, Hamilton, is engulfed in smoke and ash to become a modern day Pompeii
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Local vulcanologist Charles "Bibbler" Lambe gave his opinion to attending journalists:
"That sumb*tch gonna burn for fettin days bye".
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Mass evacuations took place under conditions of horror, and carnage as the volcano spewed a massive pyroclastic flow of hot gases moving at speeds estimated to be in excess of four miles an hour. The gases spread, across Parson's Road between Central Auto Garage, and House of India just by the bottom of Curving Avenue.
In a scene reminiscent of the ash statues of Vesuvius, and too disturbing to show here by photograph, our reporter discovered a group of young men who were frozen in a ghastly tableau of sitting figures arranged on a roadside wall. It was a chilling, and macabre frieze of wasted youth, but we later learned that apparently this was unrelated, and is to be seen on this wall almost every day. Meanwhile, as panic-stricken citizens stopped to take photographs and exchange opinions, temperatures on the smoke filled highway were estimated to have topped out at a blistering 75degsF
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Evacuation is not an option for the 60,000 strong population, since the island has insufficient ships or aircraft. As the Western world helplessly watches this tragic story unfold we can only hope and pray for the islanders as they pluckily try to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives in time for Happy Hour.
Как говорит мой шеф, когда его впервые вывезли в трехлетнем возрасте в горы, его первая реакция на снег была : "Why is sand so cold?"
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