Свежий прикол

[Froggy]

все поломалось прикол накрылся....сорри

[CdR]

женская месть

еще одна

"Server Error"?

Даа. Это мстя!

[Alesanda]

Mensa Word List

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational, asking readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Winners are:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you

14. Glibido: All talk and no action

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out

18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating

[Alesanda]

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs

2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained

3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach

4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk

5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent

6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown

7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp

8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash

9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller

10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline

11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam

12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists

13. Pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist

14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there

16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts

[elena S.]

Alesanda, спасибо

[Santolina]

MURPHY'S LESSER KNOWN LAWS:

1 Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2 He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3 Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4 Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5 Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6 The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right,
there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

7 If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough
to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

8 If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9 The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

10 The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

11 A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

12 When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of 12 people
who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

[Vims]

так вот проблемы рещають

[mamida]

жесть! За что же она ее так?

[mamida]

http://video.mail.ru/mail/pashuk2001/57/59.html

[Yury]

Очень плохая идея

The next time you find yourself on a plane, sitting next to someone who cannot resist chattering to you endlessly, I urge you to quietly pull your laptop out of your bag, carefully open the screen (ensuring the irritating person next to you can see it), and

hit this link

[Stanislav]

Скрытая камера:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZebndiGd1M

[Anton_K]

Скрытая камера:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZebndiGd1M

[woman]

Скрытая камера:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZebndiGd1M

театральное уч-ще, 1-ый курс

[Аман Ванкуверский]

прочитал на башорге:

<gram|work> Какой самый извращенный способ проверить в условии if () булевскую переменную ?
<gram|work> bool b;
<gram|work> b = false;
<gram|work> if (b == true){...}
<gram|work> Это децкий лепет
<gram|work> ИТАК, ПЕРВОЕ МЕСТО
<gram|work> Знакомый говорит что нашел только что в коде:
<gram|work> if (b.ToString().length < 5){...}

[oblom]

Библейские времена, соответствующий момент. Евреи убегают от египтян и добегают до берега Красного моря. Моисей: "Что мы будем делать, что мы будем делать?!" Пресс-секретарь Моисея: "Слушайте, а давайте вы ударите жещзлом, море расступится, и мы все перейдем спокойненько?" Моисей: "Вы что думаете, это получится?.." Пресс-секретарь: "Не знаю. Но если получится, разворот в Ветхом Завете я вам гарантирую".