funny. new writings on old topic - gyu's rules

[Gaziz]

Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.Really.

1. Don't ask us wh at we' re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh

[Аман Ванкуверский]

This is awesome!

[Victoria]

Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­...

Your point has been grasped... Is that your own idea, or a quotation one?

[Gaziz]

Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­...

Your point has been grasped... Is that your own idea, or a quotation one?

If I call it Gaziz's rules - then they will be mine

[Victoria]

Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­...

Your point has been grasped... Is that your own idea, or a quotation one?

If I call it Gaziz's rules - then they will be mine

Oops, I couldn't realize it before... And do "we" mean "all the King's men"?...

[Gaziz]

Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­...

Your point has been grasped... Is that your own idea, or a quotation one?

If I call it Gaziz's rules - then they will be mine

Oops, I couldn't realize it before... And do "we" mean "all the King's men"?...

Yes, "we" means all strong smart handsome guys who love girls but not their
bugs

[Victoria]

Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­...

Your point has been grasped... Is that your own idea, or a quotation one?

If I call it Gaziz's rules - then they will be mine

Oops, I couldn't realize it before... And do "we" mean "all the King's men"?...

Yes, "we" means all strong smart handsome guys who love girls but not their bugs

The speech belongs to a gentleman, but not to a boy... And what about the bugs - how do "guys" have a deal with them?...

[elena S.]

Ну Gaziz ты и понаписал, "рука бойцов читать устанет"
Вот у Girls- всего одно правило для Guys :keep your mouth shut and your wallet open

[Gaziz]

Your point has been grasped... Is that your own idea, or a quotation one?

If I call it Gaziz's rules - then they will be mine

Oops, I couldn't realize it before... And do "we" mean "all the King's men"?...

Yes, "we" means all strong smart handsome guys who love girls but not their bugs

The speech belongs to a gentleman, but not to a boy... And what about the bugs - how do "guys" have a deal with them?...

we cannot deal with bugs, that is why we die young

[Gaziz]

Ну Gaziz ты и понаписал, "рука бойцов читать устанет"
Вот у Girls- всего одно правило для Guys :keep your mouth shut and your wallet open

simple rule and that is why you die old

[Jou-Jou]

....
Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh

Точно! Смеялась от души

[Victoria]

If I call it Gaziz's rules - then they will be mine

Oops, I couldn't realize it before... And do "we" mean "all the King's men"?...

Yes, "we" means all strong smart handsome guys who love girls but not their bugs

The speech belongs to a gentleman, but not to a boy... And what about the bugs - how do "guys" have a deal with them?...

we cannot deal with bugs, that is why we die young

Why don't guys think of coaching bugs to save or prolong their own lives?...

[Gaziz]

Oops, I couldn't realize it before... And do "we" mean "all the King's men"?...

Yes, "we" means all strong smart handsome guys who love girls but not their bugs

The speech belongs to a gentleman, but not to a boy... And what about the bugs - how do "guys" have a deal with them?...

we cannot deal with bugs, that is why we die young

Why don't guys think of coaching bugs to save or prolong their own lives?...

who tried - died even younger or had been killed

[Victoria]

Yes, "we" means all strong smart handsome guys who love girls but not their bugs

The speech belongs to a gentleman, but not to a boy... And what about the bugs - how do "guys" have a deal with them?...

we cannot deal with bugs, that is why we die young

Why don't guys think of coaching bugs to save or prolong their own lives?...

who tried - died even younger or had been killed

Whether guys forget to leave their guns anywhere before..., because 'who would come carrying the sword - ... ', you know the following...

[Gaziz]

The speech belongs to a gentleman, but not to a boy... And what about the bugs - how do "guys" have a deal with them?...

we cannot deal with bugs, that is why we die young

Why don't guys think of coaching bugs to save or prolong their own lives?...

who tried - died even younger or had been killed

Whether guys forget to leave their guns anywhere before..., because 'who would come carrying the sword - ... ', you know the following...

anyhow - life is still tolerable for guys, we will survive